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april
2nd, 2003
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6:21pm
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i have to rip myself away
from this painter thing.
it's so addictive.
and i need food.
6:01pm
5:20pm
5:09pm
5:02pm
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4:53pm
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most definitely my bath is cold.
4:35pm
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my bath is probably getting cold...
4:17pm
i forgot i have painter
5.0
opened it up and tried to figure it out.
i need to get illustrator, too.
made this by accident , mostly:
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i finally made a bath. gonna
go in , get clean.
then go to the little store for food.
you'd think that i would stop getting zits already. i mean, i'm going to be 37 for cryin' out loud and i still break out just as much as when i were 16. perhaps my oily skin is a blessing in disguise as i don't seem to have any permanent wrinkles yet. maybe i should be happy for my zits. but i think i'd trade my oily skin with zits for clear skin with a few wrinkles. but then...it's hard to say.
3:11pm
need coffee. researching other kinds of cameras. canon powershot g2 and nikon coolpix 5700.
hadn't been to trajectorymedia.com in awhile.
read this article and that is what made me look up all this stuff.
made me go google happy.
didn't make it to the bath yet.
didn't make it outside yet.
i need more discipline.
i need more coffee.
i need more time.
i need more money.
i need more space.
perhaps i need a lobotomy.
i wish i'd get my period already.
i've been waiting for it for days.
1:58pm
a new day.
another chance to get my shit together.
i've been so nervous lately. nervous about the war. nervous about finances. i wake up with a stomache and a headache and i just don't want to be awake.
everything is overwhelming.
it's windy out and 51 degrees. i've drank a warm rootbeer for breakfast and did the anacam biz.
nwo i need to get into the tub and then , i hope t god, out for a walk and some picture taking.
and over to the post office to send off ebay stuff.
i HAVE to start painting again to make money.
i wish i was in the mood. it's hard for me to paint because in order for me to make it the least bit profitabel for myself, i have to make to the painting in less than a day. and what i really WANT to do is work on a very large painting that might take several weeks or months to complete.
but if i did that, i'd never sell it for anything close to what that would be worth.
so i have to settle for painting smaller quicker paintings which just don't satisfy my soul to do.
but i have to do that or else i am not going to be able to eat.
life could be worse. i mean, my paintings could not sell at ALL. i am extremely lucky that my paintings sell for what they do sell for.
i am thankful for that.
+++
jason is putting together a computer for me for my birthday! what an amazing present!
it has all these things in it that make it quieter than the normal computer. i don't know when thsi computer will actually be 100% complete.
i reall need to get my main computer into the bedroom so i can be on cam when i am on the computer.
soon, this will be done!
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ok, off to the bath now...
the day is wasting away...