anagram 04.01.99

i've been having a lot of dreams about death lately, and death has been more on my mind. not in a bad way, just a curious way. like "wow, i'm REALLY going to die someday! and i'll know what it was like. i mean i'm really going to experience death and i have to BE There for it and go through it"
it's so...scary. i just don't like the idea of it at all. i can't fathom it. i can't even fathom that someday my dogs will die.
i think i'm thinking about death because i'm reevaluating things, and a few of u have had to deal with the death of pets, friends, and relatives and we've been talking about it in anarchy,also, as u know, my goldfish died.
also, it's death of winter and the beginning of spring.
and my birthday is april 18th, and always around my birthday big changes happen usually, i don't know why.
but i get kind of antsy around my birthday as to what big change might possibly happen this time!
I finally got to take some pictures outside 'cause the weather is so nice. I went with jason to his piano lesson. it was good to be outside, finally, and not freeze to death. I can see the buds starting to form on trees. it's amazing to me that I survived yet another winter here. and the time went by so quickly, I don't know why, but I'm glad that winter didn't get to me as much as it usually does. I watched that movie "born yesterday" tonight. it was ultra corny.
I want to get tired soon so I can get up earlier than 1pm. it's 11:30pm right now so it's prime time for the dogs' "wild time". I'm still feeling really happy that I was nominated three times in the minnesota music awards.
on a completely different subject, I heard a tiny bit of thunder outside a few days ago! yay! I like thunder and lightning. I think I'll watch the movie "twins" and try to fall asleep to that. I'm in a dumb movie mode. I haven't been typing out my journals lately, but I hope to get back to doing that tomorrow.