march 6th , 2003
    
     
     

7:39pm

a rare glimpse of jason's hand

an upside down wonket.

i like to crochet sleeves. just sleeves. maybe someday they will be attached to something. this one is made from llama fur!

7:00pm

augh! the president is making a speech right when survivor is supposed to be on! I HATE HIM EVEN MORE NOW! aaaaaaaa!!!

6:50pm

i have them start priced at 22.22 but you can "buy them now" for $50.00

square wool hat

cirque du soleil hat

deco hat

space flower hat

here is a new hat i made ( not for sale ):

and here is a scarf i am working on...it going to be 3 times as long as this...

6:00pm

my obesssions

5:59pm

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THIS DRAWING ON EBAY

this was made with a pencil by me in 1990. it's a self portrait. the dimensions are: 13" by 11". i'm really fond of this self portrait because it really "feels" a certain way i feel that i can not explain. maybe you can see this same thing in some of my cam pictures. i have a xerox of this drawing on one of my journals , when i used to hand write in journals. it definitely depicts "me" , especially the "me" i was in 1990.

5:35pm

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THIS PAINTING ON EBAY

this was made with coloured pencils by me in 1987 right after the break up of my first boyfriend. it was the most horrible experience of my life and i thought i would die of a broken heart, for sure. this painting is how i felt during it. tears ripping through me and turning into maggots in my gut. it's extremely difficult for me to sell this. but i need the money. this is probably one of the most elaborate pieces i have ever done.the dimensions are: 14" by 11"

 

2:17pm

sorry i haven't put anything here for a few days. i have been so wigged about trying to sell my car. i found someone to buy it but i can't find the title. and this pushed me over into a horrible anxiety because now i need to get all this paperwork done and go to the dmv and i just don't understand it and it overwhelms me and it's so much more than that but i don't have the strength to type about it. and it's not in my name, it's in my dead aunt's name. my dad signed it over to me as power of attorney. i don't know how to prove that anymore as i have lost everything in my last move. and my dad doesn't know what to do eother. and i'm just having a weird time with my dad, lately, anyway. and so i just feel this horrible sadness.

and my mom has started her own livejournal. i gave her a code. it was against my better judgement. we had been emailing each other for a month now, very civilly, about crochet and reality tv and so i gave her a code. i guess it's nice that she has been reaching out like that. but i just knew that giving her a code for a lj was asking for a basket of grief. she hasn't written much in it. but she did write one guilt tripping thing that kind of pissed me off. but it's her journal and she can do what she wants. still, i know EXACTLY her intentions since i am the ONLY one who reads her journal. well, all except ONE other person now. as fate would have it, one of the people who bugs the living crap out of me on lj and is a complete psycho has found my mom's lj and has replied to her guilt tripping post saying he will "pray".

the whole thing makes me want to puke.

if people with energies that are alike flock to each other. it disturbs me GREATLY that my mom thinks this guy is actually good and SMART. when he is a complete and absolute PSYCHO. a bible thumping , george bush loving, "i love to search the internet for porn so that i can try to save the strippers...but i do not have lust in my heart...but i do have a huge boner" FREAK. i know because he writes me the most ridiculous and disturbing gross emails. he is a needy gutless pervert. and now my mom loves this guy and he has attached himself to her.

FUCKING GREAT.

and just now i looked at my bank and everything is bouncing again and there is nothing i can do about it. 3 things have already bounced and 3 more things will probably bounce before i can get any money in there. that means 186.00 in fees on top of everything. i can't fucking handle it. i just want to crawl into a ball and die.

i thought everything was ok in there. but the phone co. waited quite a few days before they took there money out and i didn't know that. usually they do it right away...they don't wait 5 days. i thought they had taken it out. now i am just fucked.

this sort of thing just crumples my spirit and makes me feel so utterly stupid.

my stomache is in a ball.

and it's so cold and windy here. the wind is screaming through the cracks of my windows. unnerving.

i just have to try and stay as centered and grounded as possible. that's why i am crocheting a lot. because i am trying to stay grounded. weather this latest storm.

drink tea. have a bath. play with the pups.