anagram 01.23.99

I was on michael feldman's radio show "whad'ya know?" I think it went pretty well, but I haven't listened to it yet. skittz made an mp3 of it, u can hear it here:

http://www.lts.net/~jkittle/ANAVoog_Interview.mp3

I still haven't downloaded an mp3 player, but I should do that. I went 2 sleep at 1am, thewn woke up at 4am and just laid there until I had 2 get up at 7. but even though I didn't get any sleep, my hyperness and nervousness was enough 2 keep me alert during most of the day. it was so fun 2 b backstage at the state theater. it's a gorgeous place and I saw tori amos play there years ago, so that place will always be a fond memory 4 me. she played 2 shows that night and afterwards she let me backstage 2 meet her. I was only one of 2 people who were let backstage( I think the other one was neil gaiman , the creator of the sandman comic…but I'm not sure), I was so honoured. I will never forget it. she said "just LOOK at you! you're glowing!" it was one of the highlights of my life, and never would I have known on that day that years later I would be on that stage , too, in the manner in which I was!

when I met michael feldman, the first thing he said 2 me was "I feel like I know you". and I said "but ui don't!" , which for some reason I feel was a stupid reply on my part. I just didn't know what else 2 say…and I was still waking up! it's so weird 2 just lay there all night not being able 2 sleep, then all of a sudden b wooshed into this other little backstage world. underneath the stage were all the corridors that felt a lot like the part in spinal tap ( the movie..if you've never seen it u should!)…the part where they get lost while trying 2 get on stage.

the thing that was so cool about being on this show, too, wwas that my friends "willy and the conquerors" were also on the bill. keith patterson who was wearing the most vivid blue suit I've seen since chris isaak I've known since I was 18. he was in a ton of bands with my 1st boyfriend, ed ackerson ( who is now in polara). and keith ended up marrying sally sweet ( yes, it's her real name!)..who was the 1st keyboardist ( farfisa) in the blue up? she is on our 1st single. anyway, she was there, too..and I hadn't seen either of them in almost a decade..which is terrible of me. I should keep in touch with my friends more! so I have her phone # again :) and they expressed interest in being on my cam sometime…so I'm very excited about the possibilities of that…'cause they would come up with COOL things 2 do!!!

so I just stood backstage taking many pictures of the giant godzilla that was on the stage, for no apparent reason. I was on at the very tail end of the 2 hour radio show. and as I sat in the chair on the stage, I kept wanting to look out into the audience more , just 2 experience that..but then I also wanted 2 look at michael..'cause he was TALKING 2 me..duh. :) the place was sold out…I think 2,175 people! and the feeling of them all laughing when I'd say something that they thought was funny was a weird feeling!

now I'm listening 2 a rebroadcast of the show….it is so strange 2 hear it as it's supposed 2 b heard. I didn't get to hear it at the time it was happening 'cause I was so distracted. it is such a midwestern show. lots of jokes about the midwest that I didn't get….'cause I just don't pay much attention 2 the midwest even though I'm in the middle of it. maybe the jokes were about the politics here and jesse ventura. jokes about lakes and gophers and garrison keiler ( sp?). I never listen 2 prairie home companion. it always seemed like a kind of smug I'm-so-down-to-earth with my fake gas fire fireplace ( which I have nothing against..those are pretty nice). but I hate the smug down to earth "country" thing. maybe that is not what the show is about..since I never listen 2 it..i could b very wrong.

it was really slushy out…and jason carried me across the puddles in true chivalrous fashion :) my best friend, carolyn, came with , too. she was the bass player in The Blue Up? I need 2 see her more often. and jason's best friend, james came with, too.

in retrospect, there is a lot I wish I had said when I was being interviewed. when you're in the middle of it, it's hard take control of the situation and remember what it was u wanted 2 say. I think I come across as a dingbat sometimes. I wish I had said more about the community of my cam, and the art I do on it. I pretty much basically forgot 2 say all the important things and was just focusing on the heat of the lights and the sound of the crowd, and wondering if I had bad posture…and who I should look at…and was my voice sounding warbly…etc I really hate the sound of my voice. I was trying so hard 2 make it sound "better" . I always wish I had a voice like judy davis. ya..in my dreams. there's so much more I could say…but my brain is mush. maybe I'll type more about this later..or not… stuff about how it is energy giving, yet energy sucking..and how I loved it, but how I love the comfort of my home better…and how the energy of doing something like that is so completely different than doing it from my home. but why? here it was 2,175 watching me "in the flesh"…but everyday I have 20,000 or so people watch on my cam…but it feels totally different 2 me. is it just my perception? why is the energy so different? yet it was good 2 feel that kind of energy again…I don't know why. yes, my brain is mush, I'd like 2 say something really insightful here. something that sums up the whole experience that conveys "whatever". but…I just can't. 'cause the whole thing confuses me. maybe I just need 2 go eat something!

after the show, jason and I went home and he worked on anacam stuff and I vegged out trying not 2 fall asleep…'cause then just a few hours later we went out again for jason's dad's birthday. we went and bought him a keith jarrett cd, and I bought a big green clear plastic blow-up chair that will b great for photos someday!