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i want to start a personals section on anacam, because there are so many people who watch me who are so cool, yet single and are looking for a mate, but are too shy or something to find someone through the regular avenues...whatever the "regular" avenues are, i don't know! or there are people looking for friends or penpals. i think anacam will make a great place to hook some people up with other people! and it would make me very happy to do this :) one of my favourite things i like about anacam is that i get to share the cool things i've come across in my life. cool ideas, urls, places, things, etc. so if u are looking for a person to share things with...friends...lovers...penpals..whatever, please send me what you would like your personals "ad" to say, and also send me a picture of yourself if u like and an email address or snail mail address u would like people to contact u at.
i would especially like to help out people who are "mentally or physically challenged" in any way. people who are paralyzed, blind, deaf, agoraphobic, bi-polar, etc...people who's basic communication has been through the web because of their "disability" and just don't know where to go to meet people.
or people that are "freaky"( in a good way! ), that are into body modification, alternative lifestyles, alternative ways of thinking ,queer, gay, transexual ,etc.
people who feel they are "misfits" in some way and are searching for friends or lovers. i guess i have always felt like a misfit, so i want to make anacam a place of community for "all of us misfits" :)
of course, people who are "normal" may also apply ! :) hehe :)
all are welcome, who i feel are making a sincere effort to meet others in order to benefit their lives and the lives of those they wish to meet. i will not put up any ads that i feel are harmful in any way or are people just joking around.

so if u would like to participate in the anacam's personals section, send me your info to: anamothership@hotmail.com

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another thing:

i have a new "contest". to whoever can send me a porn videotape that actually ends up turning me on and i think is good, i will give a one free year of ana2! i am going to go on a quest to find good porn. also, if anyone can suggest any, that'd be cool. i think i'd like something surreal and psychological the best. or new wave, or something really sensual like the scene in the movie "the hunger" between susan sarandon and catherine deneuve. or something that has a dark twisted sense of humour. and as far as fetishes go...i'd vote for leather, rubber, bondage and boots :)

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i received my books, "pornography and silence" by susan griffin and "post porn modernist" by annie sprinkle. i LOVE annie sprinkle! she is not into the porn that i dislike, which i will refer to as "junk food porn" which i think is most porn. at least from what i've witnessed. i am pro sexuality and pro erotic, just anti junk food porn. because i believe that junk food porn is sex negative, not sex positive. more on that later. i still can't go too much into that right now 'cause i'm still digesting and pondering.

it's snowing like crazy out again. and it's very pretty, but that because of it i'm not able to get together with my friend, teresa, that i haven't seen in years...and today is her birthday :( but maybe that's for the best because i am feeling very far away and distant lately, as u can probably tell from my lack of posts in the forum and lack of interaction with the cam.

things go in cycles, as you know.

so, jerry springer is going to be the speaker at this shout2000 conference i'm going to in febuary. i can't decide if i had the chance to talk to him, if i would want to or not. i guess i would want to , just because i'd like to see what kind of vibe he gives off when not on tv. he does seem likeable, yet what he does sometimes is deplorable. i mean, at lot of those people on his show asked for the humiliation they came there willingly to get...but it's the people who didn't know what the show topic was about that i feel sorry for. but then, they knew they were going on jerry springer...and jerry springer is all about humiliation. so what did they think? it's very confusing. i still don't understand why anyone would go on that show. yet, if i got asked to go on that show , would i? part of me would think it would be funny and also huge exposure for my cam. yet...i don't think the kind of people that watch it..i'd want visiting my cam. but then i watch that show..and i like me!..so there i have it! it's a weird thing. i wonder if his show ever HELPS anyone by showing people how stupid they are, that they then stop doing stupid things. do u think that it might ever help anyone?or is it only harmful?

one thing that is a bummer is that show "forgive or forget" came on. a super harsh show. but i see they have now gotten rid of the host "mother love" and replaced her with a "good-looking" skinny chick. Mother Love always tried to stop everyone from swearing, and also made everyone be plite. she also showed love and compassion. now this new host is bitchy and is more "jerry springerish". so now this show lost the one thing about it that was different. bummer.
bummer that the show thought that even a small amount of love and compassion didn't sell and they had to get rid of it and replace it with bitchiness.

i know i know i know. who cares? still i watch it 'cause i just can't BELIEVE that people would do that on tv! do i think i'm going to gain some insight into this by continuing to watch? probably not. i just can't believe it, so i keep watching.
i wish i was not so fascinated because it's not exactly uplifting. it is junk food, definitely. junk food junk food everywhere!

here is a post i made that i made about a weird dream i had:

Posted by ANA on January 18, 2000 at 13:22:03:

oh wow, your post just made me remember the dream i just had ( i just woke up..gadz )i as a prostitute for the mafia ( like in the sopranos ) when the guy from the sopranos..the one that is young that has to work at a boring desk and has the very big nose ) fell asleep while standing up. i had been asleep on the floor, i don't know why..with this other mafia guy who was also asleep on the floor..in like an airport or some huge public place. i woke up JUST in time to see the guy standing up fall asleep and fall backwards and crack his head. and i totally freaked and woke the other guy up and we had to rush to the hospital which took like 2 hours to get there. at first i was saying stuff like , " oh god i don't think he's going to make it!" as i held him in my arms. and then i realized that maybe he could hear me even though he was not responding and i starting saying , " it's going to be ok...you're going to be in a hospital with all those cute nurses in those sexy outfits looking after you !" and he smiled! so i knew he could hear me! so i kept talking about all the ice cream her would get to eat in the hospital and all the sexy nurses that would be fawning over him and he started to be able to squeeze my hand. and i knew he would luve, but i didn't know if he would regain his sight 'cause his eyes were all funny and blank. god, what a weird dream. there is so much more to it too! like one of the head mafia guys had to pee really bad, so i helped him get in and out of the women's bathroom to pee 'cause the men's was all full. and just so much more. i was just such a helper/guardian angel to these poor mafia guys and their mishaps! that i became more of a friend to them than "just a prostitute" and i really started enjoying sex with them more because they respected me and treated me like a friend now. WEIRD