anagram010700

(this is a picture of my kitchen sink rotated to the side, mirrored, and made negative)

today i wandered around aimlessly for awhile, trying 2 figure out what 2 do. i sort of stretched for an hour which felt good. i need 2 stretch everyday. i need 2 make myself do that! i can't even touch my toes.
then i decided 2 take a bath and i got feeling more creative, so that lifted my spirits, and after that jason came home ,we went out 2 eat. i had an omelette. i love omelettes :) even the word is nice!
all of a sudden it was night and here i am making this at almost 10pm. time flies.
here is a post today i made under the bed, still talking about the amputee/disabilty topic:

In Reply to: Re: devotee posted by Stacy on January 07, 2000 at 13:20:44:
wow! i was looking at www.ebolamusic.com the other day because an amputee brought it to my attention that there were great postcards there with amuptees and he liked the dark humour of it because he was so sick of everything having to be "nice nice nice" surrounding people with disabilities! which i thought was a very interesting comment and i can totally understand!

i actually knew of ebolamusic before because they send me mail to my p.o. box sometimes, i should really put them in my links section.

so i was looking at their electronic postcards
i foind lots of pictures of people with those head braces and teeth braces and i thought "wow, i've never thought of that as beautiful before"

so i think that is why i am taking such an interest in this all of a sudden...because i love to find new ways of looking at things. and i just never thought of braces as sculpture or beauty before...but now i find it actually pretty cool that some people think this way...it has opened up my mind to new ways of thinking! and actually, as i stated before...there was always a seed of it in my to like this stuff, i just never fully realized it until now that one could reallly go "that far" with it.

but , as i've said, some of it really disturbs me. for some, i think it's a very unhealthy obession. and u just have to read those stories on that page to see why! i mean, people trying to amputate their own legs , trying to figure out how to throw themselves in front of a train..or being so obesssed with amputees that u can't have a healthy normal relationship is really sad.

but at the same time, weirdly enough, there is part of me that can understand it. this urge to modify and be who u feel inside...this weird mysterious primal urge. i think that maybe a lot of this stems from "past lives" and they are still trying to work it out in this life.
and that just blows my mind.

i mean, that these people were so into it at the age of 3 or 4...like it was just built in. i can understand having strange primal attraction to things that were very strange from the earliest i can remember i was attracted to prostitution and when i played with my barbies they were always prostitutes tying ken up in their penthouse in nyc. or if i played with baby dolls, i was a prostitute in nyc trying to make money to feed my child! i mean where on earth did i get that if not from a past life?

and i had strange urges to tie string around my hands and arms and legs in a sort of ornamental bondage. i would try over and over to get the right "pattern" but never could make it work out right. and i'm still thinking of cool photographs to do with skin tied up in string...kind of making bulges from the string being so tight.
i remember when playing hide and seek, i always secretly wanted to be tied up and left in a dark corner, only to be found again and be treasured and ravished like a royal slave.

so it's not out of the question that this indeede stems from past lives or something just as mysterious. so i was compelled to read about people who had really taken these strange impulses and gone "over the edge" with them.

and i am glad my strangeness never went into that territory and that i have a balance. i just have a LIKING for not an obession with these things.

but why does this happen? quirky dna? working out past lives? who knows? but i am fascinated to ponder it.

that is so funny "cystic fibrosis" , it IS a pretty name..i never thought of it that way. how odd indeed this whole thing!

oh, and then there is this song by a band called 'the normal" called "warm leatherette" ( grace jones covered it too ) about two people getting off in this car as they die in a car crash...which i think is what inspired that movie "crash" perhaps."a tear of petrol in your eye, the hand break penetrates your thigh,quick, let's make love, before you die"
and i thought the imagery of that was so beautiful.
i love the flesh penetrating metal thing.
i would have a million piercings right now if i just knew that they would eventually "grow out" ( the skin rejecting it ) because i'm NOT into the pain of it but rather the look of it, and i don't want to go through the pain if it's not gonna be permanent.

oh, and at ebolamusic.com there is a picture of vera little holding one of the cds :)
and there is band on there that is all disabled people in it called "the ebola music orchestra"

oh here is a good quote from that:
"The media is only interested in portraying people with disabilities in stories that are either uplifting, heartwarming, or examples of individuals who have 'overcome the odds.' I find that offensive. I have too much respect for my musicians to patronize them in that way. My vision of the Ebola Music Orchestra is dark and surreal; human disability is part of my aesthetic. I'm not looking to inspire anyone - In fact, we might even scare people, but why not? I'm a musical shock therapist." - Ego Plum